The myth that half of marriages fail has been debunked, but even good statistics don’t offer protection. If you’re thinking of filing for divorce, consider these five crucial facts.
The average divorce costs around $15,000 to $20,000. If you’re the one who will be obligated to make support payments, it will create an additional financial burden. If you’re on the receiving end of potential alimony or child support, it will take some time to sort out financial issues while you go without the income of the spouse.
You will also need to establish a new household with less income at your disposal. This usually means giving up the existing standard of living.
The reasons for divorce often include the desire to escape the emotional strain of living with someone who has become difficult. Divorce can actually add to that baggage because of the negative feelings that might result from the divorce. The only thing that changes is that you’ll deal with that person in a different setting.
However, even if the divorce proceeds amicably, you might experience anxiety, loss, sadness, or difficulties in adjusting to a different lifestyle.
If you’re filing for a divorce because both of you couldn’t work through financial problems, illness, fertility issues, or you couldn’t agree on how to raise children, these issues won’t be solved by a divorce. Keep in mind that existing problems might even be more difficult to handle because you’ll have to deal with them yourself in the future.
Loss of Friendships and Family Support
Friends and family members often take sides and might only keep a relationship with one party, if at all. This especially applies when you were friends with other couples. A divorce changes those dynamics, even if your friends assure you that they will harbor no ill feelings. Be prepared for people to stop calling and socializing, without telling you the divorce was the reason.
If you initiate a divorce, you might even garner blame, especially from in-laws, regardless of how much at fault your spouse was. When children are involved, family members often gravitate towards the party who will raise them because they want to retain a relationship with the kids. Future holidays and family events can become difficult to plan because some relatives might refuse to associate with you.
Underestimating Your Spouse
Even a person who seemed laid back and genial during a marriage can become less so under the right circumstances. Divorce might change the personality of your spouse to the point where you won’t know what to expect during the divorce proceedings.
If you still decide to file for a divorce, getting a good attorney and emotional support system can make a big difference. Don’t rush the process, and prepare yourself to deal with these issues.